a liittle diiff thiis tiime..

So.. ii usually only write this for one tree hill, but thiis night calls for a special entry... I can't wait to go to california... liike my heart hurts in new york, and I feel as though no one understands me... and NO, iim not running away from my problems, but isn't okay to want a new beginning? siighs... I miss being truly happy without the extra additions of paiin.. Yes everyone goes thru the lows, but I feel liike breaking away from new york will kind of be therapy for me. Is it wrong to have a deep dislike for something or someone that has done nothing to you? I feel so badly for feeling this way towards this situation, but its like theres a rock blocking me from ever feeling any different... I feel like no one will truly ever understand the depth of my feelings, because they are too caught up in the like or love for the situation that they can't possibly understands someone's sorrows towards it.... Maybe iim the only one holding myself back, but how can I possibly try and smile when all i want to do iis cry?? and why iis iit that God gives to the taker, but me the giver he constantly takes away from.... me... siighs iim out.. stay tuned til the regular one tree hill blog...

♥ ariie